Summer Time

Here lately I have been in the this weird funk - not completely unhappy but super overwhelmed with life in general, feeling like there is not enough hours in the day - stopping short of accomplishing anything at all.

I have felt this heavy weight upon my heart - every single time that I would open Facebook (which turned out be a lot) because it was just so negative, it brought me to the realization that we as a society have become so disconnected from each other. 

It also lead to me realize that I have became so disconnected from my own family (the people in my house,) that my biggest dreams are to be left alone completely - and if that is the thought process in a healthy home environment something has gone seriously awry.

I didn't spend time on social media for hours at one, but it would be a few minutes here and there, and truth be told that time adds up super quickly, and I started to realize what a time sucker it is, with the added bonus of becoming "mindless."

I left like it was sucking all the life out of me. Something as simple as taking a picture (that use to brought me tremendous joy) became an obsession for perfection - and well what is the fun in that?

So after much thought, I have decided to do an experiment of sorts.  A summer (maybe longer) without social media.  I have realized that that I have so many in the moment losses, because of having to "share" everything now and instantly.  I always long back to Germany, and this week it occurred to me that my longing is more for the simplicity of life we experience. First of we didn't have internet everywhere, we got iphones late in the game, and we enjoyed our trips in the moment and shared it later - we were present. It wasn't the constant American rush, everything being open 24/7, the instant gratification of wanting something now and getting it now.  So I have decided to take a break, to regroup, and to simply enjoy the finer things in life - to be fully present and aware of all the gifts around me, to fully absorb the last few years I have left with my kids (time flies,) to enjoy sunsets and sunrise, to be in my own stillness with Him, and to feel Him softly breath life into my soul, impromptu dinner dates with friends, summer travels, being connect to the people around me (even if I am bummed about my current location,) and reading the stack of books on my table, that I have been putting off.  Life is so short, and I choose to embrace the beauty of it, living in my now.

I actually thought it would be much harder, but I have been pretty much off for two-ish weeks, and I feel so relieved, I can't wait to see what daily gifts I find in my present, in my now.  It is kind of crazy all the things I have accomplished, more time with the kids, I finished up a house project, spend every afternoon outside in the sunshine, ready two and a half books, and made the most delicious food -all this with time to spare.

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We set up our little pool for last year a couple of weeks ago, and the kids love it.  But in just one year they have pretty much outgrown it.  So Nate got a super awesome steal on a huge pool, big enough for all of us to enjoy.  We spent time prepping the area, and leveling the ground....

Well it finally came, it took a day to put it all together and to set it up, and we have been enjoying it every single day every since.  It is so fabulous to float around, watch the kids swim and play, and to get in there with them.  It is our highlight of every day, and I am pretty certain they would want to sleep in the pool, if we could do that.

We have also invested into a hammock, so when we aren't floating in the pool, we are relaxing in the hammock with a cup of homemade lemonade.  This is a life, a gift - embracing where you are.

The other day the kids painted these bird houses for our one big mulberry tree.  For the first time since being here with have life in our garden, a resident bluejay in the backyard and a little robin family in the front yard.  They speak so much life to me.

I also win the bad mom award because Hayleigh got this little fairy garden for Christmas, and I have been putting it off and off - mostly because I was selfishly serving myself, being disconnected from my now.

We pulled out the box, dusted it off, and we had the best time putting it together, I always wait to long, lingering in the dread of having to do anything, and it always turns out so fantastic, that I have no idea why I put it off for so long.

I finally finished up this project (I forgot to take a before picture) but this little cabinet was this green color, and it didn't really fit with the dining room, so a little face-lift was in order.

I made a conscious effort to have a friend over for cheesecake - just to hang out, and talk, and laugh.  To cultivate this beautiful friendship we have.

We have also enjoyed some pretty tasty food.

 I am so excited for the rest of summer - my goal - to be present over perfect.

I have so much going on in my mind and my soul, so much to process, and hopefully as I am working through it, I will be able to write it out.

I am thankful for this chance, for the fact that when I wasn't completely satisfied with where our life was heading (meaning our contentedness) I am able to remake it - we don't get to redo all this time, but a remake is just what we need.

I will write here as I have time, when it doesn't interfere with my time with the kids, aka after they go to bed if I am not to tired.

This is a journey that I am excited for.

Happy Summer, friends!