Lots of good things has happened this year, opportunities that we never thought would be possible, but underneath the surface of all the excitement was deep deep deep heartache, disappointments, second-thoughts on our decisions to move here, and a very intense loneliness. Some of it is fading away, but some of it is still very present.
It has been a year of growth, in the most painful and excruciating ways, and I don't care to relive any of it. I felt like I was burned, completely charred in so many areas that resurfacing would be impossible - but no one saw the phoenix coming.
We moved to a new life, with so many demanding expectations placed before us, that a few months in a began to drown slowly, and like that I lived for several months - my new motto at that time - "fake it till you make," don't ever follow that advice, just saying - it's stupid.
I became so tired of religion that is so intertwined with politics - that you feel trapped - set up to fail.
There comes a point when enough is enough, and my moment of clarity came shortly before a much needed visit from my parents. They came at the perfect time, to unbeknownst to them carry me through the last part of the storm.
I finally took my own advice, and did what was best for my family - regardless of all the opinions through my way - and it has been the best decision ever.
We slowly started to gain back our sense of purpose as a family, clinging to the things that is important to us, relaying on each other, supporting each other, and slowly but surely evolving back into the family we intend to be.
Some of the lessons needed to be learned, because let's face it you can't go through a year without learning anything - and this year I have learned more then I cared to learn - it has been rough.
I am so thankful that Nate and I are/were able to come to our senses and make some big chances - to grow and nurture our family, and to take some time for much needed self-care in our doctrines and "religion."
I am thankful fir Nate, Ian, and Hayleigh - for keeping me grounded in my faith, and for encouraging me to do what is right even when it is frowned upon. They keep me strong and encouraged.
Looking at all the pictures from this year, I will cling to the good, and the beautiful, and burn the rest. It is bonfire time - just saying!
I felt like this past year I neglected the blog a little bit - my feelings where so overwhelming and writing helps, but writing it on a public forum wasn't going to help - it was only going to feed the situation - and I refused to be drug down that road - becoming the people I was trying so hard to separate myself from. This year new year - it is on - I have slowly gained back my motivation and my love for it.
Our 2015 in pictures.
Enjoy!
January 2015
We spend part of January iced in..
Hanging on for dear life, escaping to the duck pond when it felt like our world was closing in.
We finally became homeowners.
February 2015
Nate was also officially hired on as an Odessa Fire Fighter. . Something he has been wanting to do for as long as I can remember. We are slowly transitioning back to what was familiar to us - his work schedule wise. He started his first day and soon after getting all set up and ready to start shift - we had his pinning ceremony.
March 2015
We had a last minute visit from some of our best friends in the world on their way back to Japan. Just when I needed it - I can't even explain how much I needed it.
Escaping for some family time at the duck pond, slowly became part of our routine.
April 2015
Happy move in day. We took the punch and moved in deep knee in renovations. You can read out it here.
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| Pizza on our first night. |
Happy Easter.
Picking wildflowers became part of our day.
Going to the farmers market became our favourite Saturday morning activity.
May 2015
Happy Mother's Day.
My heart was broken when I received the news that my sweet oupa, passed away. It still feels so unreal to me.
Happy birthday Nate!
Morning walks became part of our day.
June 2015
Nature walks make for a fun and free adventure.
We said good-bye to our beloved pacifier.
Happy Father's Day!
We took a trip to Abilene and stayed in a yurt for a few days. You can read about our trip here.
We went to the zoo.
We visited the historic village of Buffalo Gap.
We picked peaches in Cottonwood. You can read about it here.
Happy Independence Day!
We traveled all the way to Dallas to pick up my parents, and to also spend an afternoon with some sweet friends.
We soaked up so much time with my parents! It was wonderful!
Happy Birthday Hayleigh!
We enjoyed the farmers market together.
Happy Birthday Chantal!
We visited the beautiful Carlsbad Caverns and the Zoo in New Mexico.
September 2015
We had a welcomed surprise.
Happy Birthday Ian!
Apple picking fun.
November 2015
We took our yearly family pictures on a windy fall day.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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| Christmas tree decorating. |
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| Christmas cookies. |
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| Reading all our Christmas books. |
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| Gingerbread house decorating. |
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| Our Christmas Eve traditions. |
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| Merry Christmas! |
A trip to the North Pole on the Polar Express.
Visiting Santa.
We enjoyed some heavy snowfall and blizzard conditions for a few days.
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Ok, well looking at pictures the year doesn't look to bad - but then again I just picked the pretty to display!
But then again, as I am finishing up this post, we have encountered plumbing problems - screw you 2015 going out in a vengeance - honestly I wouldn't expect anything less.
Good-bye 2015, I am ready for us to separate and never to cross paths again.
Hello 2016, I am ready for you beauty, richness, and adventure to unfold before my eyes.
Happy New Year from my little family to yours.
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