Good-Bye Oupa, You Will Forever Hold A Piece Of My Heart

Warning! This blog post may or may not making any sense at all.  I struggle to find the right words, and to even find coherent sentences at this point.  But please enjoy the pretty pictures!

I never thought I would have to do this.  Part of me is still in shock, and the other part in denial, where I think - when I go back to South Africa again, he will be waiting at the beach house for us with open arms, and a sparkle in his eyes.

I still can't believe that he is really gone, and it all just seems so surreal - I don't want to believe it. 

I have always admired they beautiful couple they made.  I have always admired their love story.  My oupa had the biggest heart.

He was so handsome.

Their 50th Wedding Anniversary - a few years ago.

I am so grateful and thankful that for twenty six and a half years, I had the privilege to call him oupa. 

I remember spending countless Christmas's with  them.  My ouma had and still has mad cooking skills, and Christmas lunches was something spectacular, and delicious.

We started this little tradition, where he would read the names of the gifts, and I would be his little helper, and hand it to the right person on Christmas morning.  We did this for many years, and kept the tradition till my last Christmas with them, before I left for a new adventure.

My best memories are from the farm.  He was a hardcore farmer, and I am pretty convinced that he was very skilled in everything single aspect of farming.  He was mainly and ostrich farmer, but that didn't stop him from having sheep, goats, cows, and a bunch of other things to maintain and nurture.  He did an excellent job.

I loved going to the farm the twice a year we went.  I was always so excited to go, and we would suck up the twelve hour drive, because we knew that once we got there we would have their undivided attention, and yes we would get spoiled.

I had the best adventures on the farm, alongside my oupa.  From driving for hours tracking some of his goats and sheep roaming freely, to watching the cow being milked, to hunting wild game, but my all time favourite was taking care of the ostriches with him (especially the babies) - to this day I am really convinced that he is an ostrich whisperer... Besides the time his vicious ostriches on the mountain - let's just say that is a whole other story.  One I will always remember.

Follow the leader.

I think my weird love for birds was birthed here, among these little cute birds along side my oupa.  Whenever I see anything ostrich related, he is the first person that pops into my mind, and it is always followed by a smile and a chuckle.

I am thankful that he was able to see my get married to the love of my life.  

He drove me down the hill to the little chapel, and I still remember being so excited because he was there, the pride in his eyes, and the tears welling up - I knew in my heart he was so proud to be there with me.

He was my first dance and besides for the tormenting bride and groom dance (did I mention I hate dancing) my only dance. Also let me just clarify I don't dance, and it turned into a giggle fest, and I am quiet sure he didn't quiet know how handle it, but he did great.

He was so happy for us.

And then I had babies.  He was terrified of babies.  But this makes my heart so happy.  His first ever great grand baby.  

What I am most thankful for is that he was able to meet Hayleigh as well.

April 2014

He had a beautiful and full life.  With so much to be proud of.

All of this from just his daughter.

***

My dearest oupa,

Life without you will never be the same, and that thought makes me want to hyperventilate.  My heart feels a little bit shattered, and I feel a little lost.  I can't imagine what the beach house will be like without your peaceful presence.

In my heart I know that you are no longer in pain and any discomfort - but that doesn't make it suck any less.  My own selfishness wish that you could have been with us a little longer, that I could have seen you one more time, and tell you how much I love you.

I regret never saying some things, that if I could go back in time, I would do it in a heart beat.

I am so honored to be called your granddaughter,  wherever you know it or not, you have always inspired me, you have help shape and mold me.  You have taught me braveness and courage, and to stick with what  you believe is right in your heart.  You have showed me what unconditional love looks like.  Your life story alone is an inspiration.

My life is so much richer, thanks to your presence, influence, and love.  I will hold on to those things.

You  had a beautiful and full life.  Eighty four years of living, and many adventures.  I hope to one day have such a breathtaking legacy.  

I know you are cheering me on, and that thought alone encourages me to slowly but surely breath again! 

Rest in peace, and know that you are and have been loved deeply and fiercely!

You will always have a piece of my heart.

I love you forever and always.

Until we meet again!

* doring

Our last picture together.