I was all motivated (after being so exhausted from renovating, and moving in) to get some much needed house chores done, and then boom - crappy news!!!
One sentence, to be exact and part of my world came crushing down.
"your grandpa had a stroke"
It is instances like this that I hate being far away from my family, and that impulsively I want to jump on the next airplane, and go home, but the question is to do what? I sadly can't change anything, and I hate that,
My heart hurts as this is the sweetest grandpa in the world. I have the best memories of time spend with him on the farm getting up before the crack of down to head out with him, to go check on the ostriches and feed them, and make sure everyone knows their tasks for the day.
I love spending our winter and summer break on the farm and later the beach house with him and my grandma. The older I got, and especially after the kids were born, I loved and appreciated them even more. This weird flip in my brain happened, where I started to get a little more sentimental, and little little things (like just seeing them) would become so special.
This whole ordeal has put quite the damper on my week, because all I want is be with my family, and to give my grandma the biggest hug in the world, and to help in anyway I can,... but I can't instead I sit here waiting for any updates, and praying m little heart out.
None of this even makes any sense of me, besides the fact that after two nights of not sleeping well (stupid time difference) to wait for updates in the middle of the night. I needed a good distraction.
Enter spring and sunshine.
Hello farmers market.
It is a really small farmers market, but it made me leave the house, walk outside, get fresh air, spend time with Nate and the kids, and it was a subtle enough distraction, that didn't make me feel guilty. I know I have no reason to feel guilty about anything, but a woman's mind is her worst enemy at times.
It was a beautiful morning, and I love the new more natural location of the market. I can't wait for all the produce and everything to be available again (welcome to West Texas - were nothing grows.)
The kids love it, their favorite part is getting honey straws.
We picked up some of our basics.
- honey and eggs, and well a special little treat, a pecan cinnamon roll.
Blooming flowers.
Flowers in general makes me happy, so this was a perfect little moment, amidst the storm raging inside of me.
The fact that Ian is not yet embarrassed to hold my hand, made me smile.
We came home, and Nate found this really cool caterpillar. I haven't seen the kids this excited in a while. They spend hours examining the caterpillar, from the color, to the spots, to the fact that it had a horn on it's butt.
We thought about keeping it, but decided to release it. Be free Mr Caterpillar, thank you for the opportunity to learn.
***
As usual we are still working on the house, but I am so excited because my kitchen is 90% done, and I thought this day would never come.
As soon as the back splash is done tomorrow, I will share a picture.
I am working on getting a little more motivated (I did great on Sunday getting a bunch of stuff done) - while I wait on news.
Please keep my sweet family in your thoughts, as these chaotic events are never fun even though it is a fact of life.
Happy Monday!
PS. This post probably makes zero sense, since I have no idea to formulate all my feelings into words. So just look at the pretty pictures.
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