Happy Mother's Day

This year will be five years since my "I want to be a mom one day," dream came true. Almost five years, I can hardly believe it, and sitting here and I am trying hard not to hyperventilate because it comes and goes way to fast.

What I never realized is the intensity that motherhood holds, behind the storybook pages, underneath the car seats, strollers, diaper bags, cribs, and the "mom title." I never realized how much love can hurt, and oh how much I would be changed by it. I never realize the other side of my mom's feed us, take care of us, do fun things with us side I saw everyday. That at night when everyone was tucked in, I am sure so cry over us, prayed for us, re-examined her choices wondering if she is doing the right thing. As my kids and I grow older, I am starting to understand these things better. Motherhood is so much more then reading books, playing outside, baking cookies, playing trains, building legos. We don't do these things because live is perfect, we do these tings because life is hard, and sometimes making a rainbow with legos give us strength and courage to push through the "hard."

The point is motherhood is hard. It is exhausting, It pushes our limits. It pulls at our emotions. But it is also exhilarating, beautiful, fulfilling, and in my book a great adventure. There is nothing quiet like it.

It takes you to places you never imagined, it shows you beauty you never expected, and it shows you sides of yourself you never new existed. It is life changing, and soul-stretching. It is complete worth it.

I am so thankful for my mom who went before me, and her mother who went before her. And through each generations, they worried about their kids, they world that was waiting for them, and the things that could go wrong. And look at them now, here they are cheering me on as a mother, in the good moments, and the not so great moments.

They are here to encourage me, to reassure me when I need it, and to support me when I just want to cry from pure exhaustion. They have lived it, they have breathed it, and they understand the depth of it. The life changing moment when you lock eyes with your newborn child, and love surges through you like and electrical current.

Ian Keith Cook

Hayleigh Elizabeth Cook

To my precious grandmother. Thank you for raising my mom. Thank you for teaching her how to be a mom. I am so grateful for you, and the older I get the more I realize things that have impacted my life. Your mad cooking skills, I have that and I love it. Whenever I cook or bake you are you first person who pops into my head, Your strength is inspiring, your endurance is encouraging, and your love is exhilarating. I am honored that my daughter gets to carry on your name. You are a beautiful inspiration. I love you with all my heart.

To my beautiful momma. Thank you for being such an amazing example as a mother. Thank your for always being there, for always listening, always encouraging, and always loving. Thank you for also supporting me in my great and not so great decisions. Thank you for cheering me on from the front row in this journey of motherhood. Thank you for inspiring me to be better. But most of all thank you for being you - the good, bad, and ugly. Thank you for being real and transparent. I am so thankful and honored to call you my mom. I love you more then words can desire.

To my Ian.
The boy who made me a first time mom. I still remember the exact moment. I had no idea what awaited me, and my heart could have never been prepared for it. Your have caused me so much pure joy, that sometimes I can't contain it. You have taught me how to see the beauty in the messy. You have encouraged me to be better. And you have loved me unconditionally. You have stretched me in ways I never knew possible, but I would not have it any other way. It is such an honored to be called your mom.

To my Hayleigh.
Through you I have learned how to love and appreciate my grandma and my mom more. I had no idea what to expect, and that is probably better, because you are not the cookie-cutter kind of girl. You are fierce, independent, and strong-willed. You have tested me in ways I never imagined possible, you have driven me to tears of frustration, but through that you have showed me more about myself then any other person in this world. You squeeze the ugly out me, and encourage me to replace it with beauty. You have showed me life through the eyes of the child, and you are teaching me to slow down, to be patient, and to love even more. I am so grateful that I get to call you mine. Thank you for making me a second time mom.

Memories like these makes every hard and challenging part of motherhood worth it. All the tears and sweat.... My most favourite and treasured picture, that for me sums up the beauty of my motherhood journey.

*****

I love celebrating Mother's day with my man and my babies! Nothing crazy, nothing intense. Just spending time together, loving on each other.

They did spoil me this Mother's Day!!

I have wanted this beauty for about three years now. So of course we had to break it in.

Also one of my favourite things - plants and flowers.

Plants in hand painted pots - it takes me breath away!!