Happy Mother's Day

Three and a half years ago, my dream of being called a mama, was fulfilled with the birth of my sweet Ian.  I have never felt or experience a love like, loving your son.  And then two years later it happened again, the love for your daughter.

Through the dreaming of becoming a mother I never realized what really happened beneath the pages of the story - under the pages of strollers, names, things you must have for you baby, and the simple title "mom." I never understood everything it entails, and I never new how deeply love could hurt, and how much I would change me.

Just like most things in live, there is another side of the every day mom tasks, you know the once everyone takes for granted, like mom mom feeds us, mom does our laundry, mom cleans the house, you get the picture, right? Sometimes at night when all is quiet and the kids are finally in bed after a struggle, some moms cry for their kids, prays for their kids, plans for their kids, and think about the and the choices that were made, questioning it and wondering if it was right.  Motherhood is hard, it pulls on all your heartstrings, it is exhausting it, emotionally draining at times, and it also pushes you to your limits.  But you learn to draw in from the beauty, and to lean on it.

Motherhood if beautiful and exhilarating, amiss the chaos and the uncertainty of wondering if you are doing an alright job at raising your kids.  To a point motherhood is indescribable, and all I can say today is that I am so blessed to be called mama, I will forever love and cherish this special title, and the fact that I was blessed enough to be entrusted with these little people who calls me "mama."  Don't get me wrong sometimes I pull my hair out, and I call my own mama in frustration, wanting to know "how did you survive, us?" But once a little voice appears "mama I love you," or "hug me" it all gets washed away and you start over.

I am so thankful for my mama, and everything she has and still is doing for us.I am so honored to have such a great example of selfless love and sacrifice. I love you so much, and I wish you were closer so I could hug you.  You inspire me everyday to love my kids more, to have more patience, and to just deal with everything.  Thank you for listening to me vent, and for encouraging me to do better, and to acknowledge different angles of the challenges.  I love you more then words can describe.

I am also thankful for my mother-in-law, who raised such an amazing husband.  Thank you for teaching him to be the husband and man he is today.  For loving him, nurturing him, and always supporting him. You are a good mama to him.  I love you!

Thank you Nate for being my partner in crime when it comes to motherhood.  Thank you for all your reassurances when I doubt my skills as mother.  Thank you for your grace when I mess up.  Thank you for being the strong one and taking over for me when I am weak and weary.  I couldn't imagine this journey with out you!! I love you so much and I blessed to call you mine!

Thank you Ian and Hayleigh for loving me and having grace when I mess up daily.  I fail in some areas of motherhood daily, like yelling at them, or being impatient, or sometimes lashing out in my pure state of exhaustion.  Thank you for looking past that, and still calling me mama.  That you still snuggle me, and want me, and express that you need me.  You are amazing, and every day I fall in love more and more.

My Mother's day was filled with love and appreciation, lucky we celebrated Mother's day a day early because Nate was working on Sunday, and well Sunday was a hot mess in the Cook house, so I didn't have to associate it with Mother's day.

I am in love with my new mug!! Makes my mornings at 05:00am even brighter!

Today I also paid a little closer attention to the all the little things that I am thankful and grateful for.

I am thankful for my little 5am alarm clocks.   By the time the rest of the world have awakened we have had our quiet time, done a load of laundry, tidied up, and ate breakfast,  What is not to love? Oh, well this is how I make myself feel better for being so tired!!

I am thankful for a hot cup of black tea, and the fact that I can sip on it while little people play at my feet.

I am thankful for tight hug, and lots of sticky kisses.

I am thankful for little hand make cards, and pictures taken to share with me later.

I am thankful for little unprompted comments like "I love you mama," "oh wow mom you are so pretty," and "I hug you."

I am thankful for afternoon snuggles on the couch while the rain patters against the windows.

I am thankful for what my body is capable of.  To remember how it  glowed with life inside of me, and the pain and joy of giving life.

I am thankful for the soul-stretching journey of motherhood, and the changes and growth that took place and continues to take place.

Happy Mother's day!!!